Insomnia? I have a challenge for you.

It’s been weeks, maybe years and you haven’t gotten a good night sleep. I’m not talking about a baby waking you up in the middle of the night, although I do sympathize with you. No, I’m talking about either not being able to fall asleep, or you do fall asleep but you wake up at say 3 am and can’t fall back asleep. You feel like garbage.

Maybe you’ve tried everything. You’ve spent so much money on sleep supplements, such as, magnesium, melatonin and moon juice. You’ve gotten your hormones checked and started acupuncture. You use an eye mask, ear plugs and bought a gravity blanket. You’ve listened to every Huberman podcast on sleep and bought every book on insomnia. You’ve gotten your steps in and done yoga, meditation and listened to your Calm app. You’ve stopped drinking liquids and don’t look at screens a few hours before bed. You are the picture of sleeping wellness. But, you still aren’t sleeping!

Here is my challenge to you. Stop. Stop with the supplements, the podcasts, the books, the everything. Keep up with the eye mask, ear plugs and gravity blanket because they are useful tools. But, stop with the constant worry and obsession over your sleep. How does one do this?? Challenge your thoughts. You’ve probably heard how important sleep is to your health. But, what if it isn’t as important as we think it is? What if you survive the next day if you don’t get enough sleep? What if you stay up late watching Netflix and still are able to get up and go to work? What if all the lavender and hot showers aren’t a magic cure? I’m sure you know someone in your life who is doing none of that and they fall asleep like a baby.

All of the focus during the day on sleep is causing an unconscious anxiety that you may not even be aware of. Focus on your day, your work, your hobbies, friends, do something for someone else, but don’t think about how you can improve your sleep routine. Don’t look at the clock at 8:30 pm and worry that you have to start your sleep routine. Again, challenge your thoughts surrounding sleep and take on the attitude of “who cares?”. Believe me, you will go to sleep when you are tired and have a better nights rest.

Side note, please always consult first with your doctor if you are experiencing sleep problems. You could have an underlying health issue like sleep apnea so, make sure to always talk to your doctor first. I’m also not dismissing how severe anxiety can be in disrupting sleep. If you know you are anxious about something and constantly on edge, yes, seek help. In that case, counseling can definitely help ease that anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to help with insomnia. If you do notice though that your anxiety is solely surrounding the thought of sleep and sleep hygiene and you’ve tried every strategy known, maybe you could try a different approach and challenge your approach? It worked for me.

If you are struggling with sleep and want to explore this more with a counselor, feel free to contact me. Good night!